To my body that moved through the little girl places of joyful function without self concern, I wish you had more time in this world.
To the body that wore braces and casts and lived with constant limitations, I am so sorry I had to leave you on your own, it was too hard to be connected.
To the body that lost its own awareness and became a reflection of external comment, I am sorry I starved you, I am sorry I forgot to love you for what you were.
To the body that made and fed my babies, I learned to love you for your miracles. Thank you for that.
To the body post babies, one step forward, two steps back, I am sorry I starved you and forgot to love you for what you were, and what you had given me.
To the body that lost so much function for a time and introduced me to struggle and despair, I am sorry I medicated you into silence, it would have been better to listen.
To the body of today, some forty pounds and six jean inches larger than the one I couldn’t accept or feed, thanks for coming back!
I kind of love your spirit, despite abuse, neglect, loathing, you are back here demanding respect so slyly through play and joy. I promise to take care of you.
And to the body down the road when muscle will soften further, weight will shift downwards as age dictates, I hope you will still slip through the lake water, pump my bike pedals and heart beat, soak up the sun and the rain and dance, oh yes, please still dance…
2 thoughts on “it’s a girl thing”
This is so lovely. I think this connects to so many of us! We get to a point, thank goodness, where it just doesn’t matter anymore. We are lucky to be alive and can do these wonderful creative things that we do. As for the lumps and bumps, we can just add more bling and celebrate!
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my beautiful young friend showed me an event dress she had bought small on purpose to size into it and i felt, this is what we teach when we forget to accept the package we come in as it is we learn, so far from the most important part.