To my body that moved through the little girl places of joyful function without self concern, I wish you had more time in this world.
To the body that wore braces and casts and lived with constant limitations, I am so sorry I had to leave you on your own, it was too hard to be connected.
To the body that lost its own awareness and became a reflection of external comment, I am sorry I starved you, I am sorry I forgot to love you for what you were.
To the body that made and fed my babies, I learned to love you for your miracles. Thank you for that.
To the body post babies, one step forward, two steps back, I am sorry I starved you and forgot to love you for what you were, and what you had given me.
To the body that lost so much function for a time and introduced me to struggle and despair, I am sorry I medicated you into silence, it would have been better to listen.
To the body of today, some forty pounds and six jean inches larger than the one I couldn’t accept or feed, thanks for coming back!
I kind of love your spirit, despite abuse, neglect, loathing, you are back here demanding respect so slyly through play and joy. I promise to take care of you.
And to the body down the road when muscle will soften further, weight will shift downwards as age dictates, I hope you will still slip through the lake water, pump my bike pedals and heart beat, soak up the sun and the rain and dance, oh yes, please still dance…